Extraction

“Stop it.”

Here he goes again. That whine that sounds somewhere between a drone and a mewl. Hard to describe but its effect isn’t. It’s something like the feeling you get when sharp nails scratch a board.

This man. His idea of pre-bed conversation (it can hardly be called foreplay) is complaining about my laptop. Every key I touch seems to set off something inside him. Something I wish his mother had dealt with. Or his therapist.

We’re in bed and the rain is pounding the roof with a vehemence that I haven’t seen in a while. I would be in the garden (the name my aspirations have attached to our balcony) but it has turned into a rain-swept scene. So here I am.

“KC, not today,” I say.

I indulge this man at every turn but I don’t have the luxury at the moment. I have a deadline to meet; the sort that could cost me my job-and my reputation.

“What sort of woman are you? Why don’t you cater to me like you should?” he asks. If I have heard this once, I have heard it a million times.

“You know what you are, right? You are a FAIL girlfriend,” he says. The capital letters are implicit; I can almost see him limiting himself to 140 characters. All in an effort to stay in character.

My hipster boyfriend; with so many words available to him, he settles on ‘FAIL’. I shake my head. I have had it.

I walk over to the closet and take out my skeleton. This man has not grasped that the business of pleasing men is no longer my province. Not after what happened.

I hand it to him and leave the room. I walk to the kitchen and prepare a meal that can only be described as decadent. The only catering I am willing to do.

There is silence as he reads through the newspaper clippings. I may have some peace yet.

The background to this story

This entry (a break from the usual, an end to the hiatus and my first attempt at writing a story here) came about due to this Tumblr reblog in which I threw down the gauntlet. I had forgotten it till Miss B reminded me in this tweet. Find @IvoryPunk @beenduta and @Njeri__’s posts here:

 Pronounce it like a Poet’s Woman by @IvoryPunk

 Scatter Mat by @beenduta

The Lovers’ Tiff by @Njeri__

The only man involved in the challenge (one @FilmKenya) is yet to hand in his homework 😀

Full disclosure

If this felt like a hack job, it probably has something to do with the fact that it was written in ten minutes. Please share your comments below or (if you want to spare me somewhat) e-mail me on kenyanwithattitude@gmail.com

Thanks for dropping by!

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