Dope Joy Fresh

Sitting at my mother’s
Laughing my head off
It could be dopamine
Or joy

What, she asks
What drives me insane with mirth?
Why, think I
It’s the realization

That you no longer are mine
I am protecting she to whom I made a promise
Yes, her
The one whose heart I promised
Not to fragment

She loves you, you know
My mother, I mean
But she knows that laughter
It’s the way I hope to laugh
When you inevitably,
Predictably leave

Yes, I may not be
The one whose hand you don’t shrink from
But humour me a while
And hold me yet

And I may not be
The one with whom communication is much desired
But let’s play lovers for a bit
And pretend this letter
That call
Is an expression of what is

I may not be
And yet because I am
The one whose love is yours to take
The one who you claim to love and yet tell none
Pleasure me

**Yes, I know I’m on a roll today
And I wish my brother W could see this and know my art imitates my life
It is about X, he is being a pain in my back pew, I still want to be held by him