A few of my favorite things

I got this cover of the original song from ‘Sound of Music’ and I couldn’t resist 🙂

So here’s a list (for when I forget 🙂 )

  1. Music: Well, who doesn’t? There’s always that song that captures your mood, lifts your spirit, expresses what you can’t put into words…ah, music
  2. Silly stuff…: Wouldn’t measure up to randomness if all I did was the serious stuff, now would I? Would I??? *wearing maniacal ‘ANSWER ME!’ look* I thought not!
  3. Punctuality: Am I the only one who doesn’t enjoy waiting? It really gets my goat [I love that expression]
  4. Affirmation: Anyone who’s been tuning in for episodes might have noticed this but there, I said it. I think we all like that someone to (sort of) vindicate us [I used to love that word when I was 16…I wonder why…]
  5. Hugs: I’m a sucker for those…as is one Mo…who I have not heard from for yonks. He’s great with hugs…him & X (most times, sometimes they feel cursory-I *do not* like cursory hugs) & 2BF5 & Jay (his are really awesome, they involve spinning me round and round-usually in malls…fun times)
  6. Communication: I talked about this in my last post. How I’ll stop nagging X about that topic but I’ll state it here for the record: I try to communicate with people but a reticence on your part really won’t earn you any favours. It turns out being in a relationship with the non-communicator makes me tetchy. Enough said. I find that it’s so easy you simply have no reason not to (other than you don’t want to, pure and simple in which case I get a hint!) reply to e-mail, texts, messages…pick the phone (Quite passive, you see) but what I really cherish is the active communicator. The one who sends the e-mail/text/message…the one who calls. One of the many reasons why I love 2BF5…
  7. The world & all in it: I really love this planet. It’s so tiny and yet so large in terms of the diversity you find in it. Aah, I love you Mother Earth & I love you World 🙂
  8. A person who gets along with my friends: As you might have gathered, my friends are pretty all-sorts (Understatement of the Century) so I quite like folks who can get along with most of my friends. I can assure you, ALL is pushing it quite a tad…
  9. Kisses: I love me a good smooch, I do. Those ones that take you away…especially in my dreams where I’ve had lots of those as opposed to real life where I’m saving all my love [cue Whitney Houston pre-drugs singing ‘Saving All My Love’] (and my kisses, too, apparently) for The One [capitalisation is of utmost importance-this is not an issue one can toy with :D]. I think all the Latin men I have watched have raised the bar-I better not be disappointed 🙂 Couldn’t help throwing in this video for entertainment’s sake:
  10. Touch: I speak a language called Touch. What it means is that if you want to communicate how you feel about me, touching me is a good option. Also, I only touch people I like. If I have had physical contact with you, be assured, I like you. Though of course anyone who thinks of a hug as touch had latched on this 🙂
  11. Honesty: No matter how bad the truth is, Just Say It! It’ll be that much worse when I discover it. It really grinds my gears when I practically have to drag information out of someone. Really, if you’d told me we’d have moved that much faster…
  12. Transparency: No, not TI, that body those of us in some parts of Africa associate with damning corruption reports but rather saying it as it is. Obfuscation is so irritating… Yes, I can hear you saying I said honesty above but how else was I going to throw in ‘obfuscation’? 😀
  13. A good listener: Who doesn’t love a good listener? Also the person who doesn’t tune out (yes, it’s you I’m talking to, you know yourself..) They’re so hard to find…but also so valuable once you do…
  14. Compliments: Just not about my hair…J/K I loooove compliments so I give them quite freely. I know more than one girl who has been left wondering about my orientation but I love compliments so if you see me, you know what to do 🙂
  15. A love of family: My family means a lot to me so institutions, people, who respect family count for a lot to me…Viva la familia!
  16. Food: I love food, really I do. I plan meals in advance, I walk halfway across town for food offers, I explore a new culture through its food. I wouldn’t go as far as calling myself a gourmand like one Mo has, but hey 🙂

Part of the reason I wrote this is because I lost my uncle yesterday and I thought about how loss occurs so easily and how forgetting is something that we are all susceptible to. My next post will be listless [no, not in the ‘she looked listless’ sense :D] but this is for memories’ sake.

Also, this blog sometimes veers into ‘Love Jude‘ territory-that being the title of a book where the blogger/diarist is obsessed with her boyfriend Oren & every post is about him. I saw that in myself when I re-read it the other day. Hilarious though it is, I spend a lot of time talking about X and maybe, as a book called ‘Sex & Sensibility’ by some Christian bloke called Steve Ayers suggests, my other relationships suffer as a result.

Situation shall be rectified.

🙂

To round it all off, here’s Makmende, the Kenyan phenomenon spun by an experimental Kenyan group (too funny, *they* describe themselves as such), Just  A Band, that has supposedly gone viral. Enjoy & I’ll catch you later 🙂

Functional Dysfunction

(Or ‘How to stay chaste in an oversexed world’)

So I’ve realised I’m a nag. Really, I am. I have the ability to talk about, and pursue, one topic past the point where anyone is interested. I’m turning into my mother…not a source of mirth but hey, it’s better than turning into say, a troll (amongst other things) Scratch that, my mum’s pretty awesome so…..but I digress.

Now, my favourite nagopic (nag meets topic to create) is communication. I can talk about it forever with Mr Man, aka X. The poor guy has heard so many versions of the same thing till he probably recites what I say (my repertoire of lines is that limited) but I found a new one over the weekend. It’s not going to be good for him…especially considering what I’m going on about… [Edit 24.3.10 I spoke to X yesterday and promised him I’d stop with the nagging…a long-term birthday gift, if you will, being as it was his big day]

Now, to stay chaste in an oversexed world, I recommend:

#1 Staying away from your preferred gender (I’m being inclusive here): Em, once you start, you can’t stop… Not that I would know but humour me..

#2 Running (yes, I know I said running) away from erotic dancers. Here I can speak with authority… On Saturday I had the pleasure of spending time with a friend I’ll call 2BF5 (ask not..OK, ask later) who is one raunchy dancer. But, as I have a little, umm, shall we say, ‘situation’, the dancing was terribly unsettling. A girl has urges….don’t stoke them!! I should have run, but he’s so much fun (woop! woop! we had us a rhyme there) so I stayed through the torture, the pain, the agony, and the shaking pelvis (grinding is more like it but let’s not even go there) Torture!!!

#3 Not talking about ‘It’ in any form. Really, it works. As long as you don’t discuss how your boyfriend is the last person that would be your baby’s father were you to fall pregnant (this is not to say I have had this conversation with anyone….) you’re almost home dry. It’s as easy as it sounds, except for the exclusion. The exclusion only succeeds at making the said boyfriend sound umm, incapable 😉

#4 Read the Bible or similar religious book (but let’s speak of the Bible for the purpose of this post):  Really!! Think of all the punishment that awaits you, ignore any offers of forgiveness from God and keep your legs clamped. It may take some effort (reading the Bible in my case) and you might end up like Shoshannah (not real name, to protect the privacy of the (now) long dead) but TOUGH! Man up! Or the female equivalent of manning up…

It’s been long, my next post will be longer…

I hope…but take my advice 😀

My real name is Lady Gaga

Turns out I’m unconventional…

I hadn’t planned on doing anything for Valentine’s day mostly because I have never done anything for Valentines Day (sort of kinda like) but I got X postcards just in case he popped a surprise on me and gave me a gift & I was giftless. And wrote touchy-feely (surprisingly honest) messages on them… I’m getting better at this relationship business :D….

Went for a piano recital at Starehe Boys’ Centre on the 13th… Ned Kirk is a pretty awesome pianist, even though I walked out of Liszt to go walk & talk with my friend Lim as well as meet his brother Clem. During which time X, who would meet me there, called me and I didn’t pick my phone. Had left it with my cousin Sasha (great kid) who was a very random Plus One for the day. Anyway, after we had all met (X, Sasha, Lim & I – see, I’m introducing X to my family….girlfriend behaviour!!!) X & I decided our children will go to school there (sorry, Alliance High School-now that’s wifey behaviour)

We went back to the City centre & ended up at Maasai Market- a large curio market open on Saturdays & Sundays at the High Court parking lot. As we walked, I told X I really want to get an old school camera & a dark room and he said, “So I need to start saving up for dark room equipment.”  as well as positing that it was influence from ‘Vicky Cristina Barcelona’ . To which I replied to the effect that that created the impression that we’d still be together when I wanted those. He got royally pissed, asking me why I ‘do that’ (What? Cast doubts? Yes, he says….) I don’t know, sometimes I don’t feel like I know where this is going (says Miss I have his postcards in my bag) but I got reassurance.

What else? We ended up going for Love is Kenya where so many great contemporary Kenyan musicians were performing….

🙂 🙂 Nairobi kuna solar sana/ Kijijini ni ku-poa sana 🙂 🙂

and I saw H, my dad’s friend and his son, Tim. Totally random. Tim told me today that I saw his dad because H had spotted me across the area (the Nairobi National Museum) and had come over to say hi. Anyway, X’s friend R made me really uncomfortable when he turned to me when the clock struck 12 on the 14th, and X said Happy New Year! [yes, Chinese] to tell me, “You guys should be kissing and making out…” Really, almost stranger? Don’t mess with my head… Plus X & I got tired of standing at some point and ended up sleeping on a concrete pavement (very rock star behaviour….) and he launches a talklet about how our being horizontal wasn’t a source of action. I have never received such overt ‘get laid, start making out’ sentiments from a person. But from a person who doesn’t know me well, and who I tried cracking a joke about my wearing a chastity belt to (if only for the purpose of clarity) that was a discomfiting experience. That and so much more innuendo didn’t really provide entertainment. But X singing Sauti Sol & Dela’s ‘Mama Papa’

(for me? I would hope so….) was quite something. I love the singing, his singing…always have [chalk that up with ‘part of X’s charm’]

Anyway, we all went home in the end (proud to say I took a mat both ways… Yay me) and I spent the next day picking belated birthday cake, going to L’s house to eat it & get tales & finally going back to my room. Happy Valentine’s Day, The Shaboozle.

Monday: Exam 1 at 0900 (I have exams till the 26th & here I am blogging, he he). Saw J & B for cake and fun times. Pretty awesome. J copied lots of music & affirmed me: she’s my emotional twin, I swear. She kept urging me to study for the paper I have in slightly over 3 hours (at this point) but I had that planned for yesterday & today, I’ll have you know.

Yesterday, Tuesday the 16th: I went for French class (yes, I started attending those) and met X afterwards. Fun times 🙂 🙂 I had a bit of pseudo-drama with asking how it was I didn’t get a Valentine’s gift (we call it Val’s around  here) and all but I had a moment of clarity when he said he didn’t see  the point of doing something for someone on Val’s. But it’s convention, I say. Since when did you follow convention? Touche, X, touche. And there it was, the truth… I was upset he hadn’t faked it too… So yes, I will get gifts at random times 🙂

I had thought of Marie as I did my laundry in the morning so imagine my pleasant surprise when I saw her at the mall where X and I were having this conversation. The National Geographic crew (X & I) spoke while we girls had fun and talked & I told her about the giftlessness. Talking to my sister (yes, she is) made me realise I didn’t really want a gift. I don’t do the things other people do, why do I judge myself by their standards in my relationship? Why do I want to be physical, to celebrate something I don’t care for (because I love him *all* the time)? To fit in? Because I had candidly said it to X before Marie & I came… a gift was just for adding to the pool of stories girls have, not for my wanting. Speaking to her reminded me why she’s my sister…it’s always great to have someone who questions you but also affirms your choices (yes, the issue where I’ve only garnered support with SSS & my twin)…

Marie, X & I are going for Manjano, The Nairobi Province Visual Arts Exhibition, on Saturday. Plus today us girls go for a film that’s part of Alliance Francaise’s offerings of French films this week (Images From France)… Fun times ahead… feedback very soon.

Last but definitely not least…I got a letter from my brother on Friday… It made my day… I love that boy. Wherever I go, I know I have his love. And that counts for a lot 🙂

I’ll leave you with a video of Rick Lau’s ‘Men in Love’ which gathered critical reviews and snippets of which I heard on the BBC. I especially love a bit form this performance where a (gay) man, on realising his lover has run off with their neighbour mourns on the loss of his lover, his car keys (and hence his car), his stereo….and especially, his “Lady Gaa-gaa  CD” Enjoy

You can call me Joseph

That’s what my mum calls me when I speak about my dreams…after the character in the Bible…no, not Jesus’ dad…the other one…

Dreams that keep getting repeated:

I’m sitting at a restaurant (a specific one…down to the table we’re at…) and I play X a Keyshia Cole song.

It says all the things I want to say…or that I wanted when I was having the dream a lot. Now I have moved to another song….I’ve changed my mind…I don’t love him any more. Long compensatory phone call notwithstanding.W has given me the strength to realise that what my friend C told me was true.

Don’t settle

Look where settling got me…sad and angry. Why…when there are so many other people I could go out with? When I could talk of relationships happily?I used to want the boyfriend who didn’t call/text daily. Now I have him… Be careful what you wish for  is all I can say…

Dream 2 involves me working at said restaurant and finding X seated at different table (not ‘ours’) with a girl being in love… while I am going out with him. I’m all polite and cordial & act nonchalant about it… This dream is accompanied with a sense of peace… Like  losing what you never had is no loss anyway.

I think he’s tired of me…and afraid to say it…

So once I finish this post I shall dispatch a message directly that says

if this is working why does it feel so sad and dysfunctional/why do I have to prod you to get anything/ I want you more, so much more, than you seem to want me…. and that sucks

I’ll tell you how that goes…

Moving, love

My dad cleared out the house I have lived in for the last 5.5 years today……………….and the one I love has decided to open up his heart to me. OK……………that’s the essence of a relationship, right?

So, no more home in West Nairobi. I could always go to my aunt’s  but the prospect is a lot of things…….none of which is appealing………….she has small children, she’d be all up in my business…..I just want to be with my family, not a replacement………

I took two of my housemates and the boyfriend of one of them as I went to the flat to pick the last of my things (I moved out in the middle of this month) and they ended up helping us pack. Especially Mr Boyfriend……..guess that is what devotion to one’s girlfriend leads to. He got home about 4 hours after his people expected him. And because of him, I got to drive in a strange area………at night (Where is my dad? The one that would *never* let me drive at night sometime? Oh, sorry, that’s my mother………..)

When the girls and I went back to town, we went to the 24 hour store and bought random edibles. We drove into the hostel a few minutes before the curfew. I went to get my printer from the flat today…………and took photos (which camera I can’t find at the moment) as I said goodbye to the flat where I first fell in love. With Oxford, travel, boys, blogs……………………………..the one I love.

Yes, him…the moment we have all been waiting for. Mr Man inboxed me yesterday (inboxed: English used by Facebook users. Translation: Sent a message). On which note, I cannot believe he and I have been having a Facebook relationship (inbox-wise)………..I’m so happy I have de-activated my account……I would have disgusted myself if we had morphed into those couples that are always posting on each other’s walls and about each other in their stati (plural of status), but I digress.

He inboxes to say he has issues sticking with something ‘lest he gets attached’ and that he has a feeling that after he is through doing all those random things he will do, he shall be alone. I let that message sit in my inbox, gnawing away at me like a festering wound. He said *what*??!! Ha ha ha…….quite some way to start a relationship, Mr Man! ‘I think I’m going to be alone’ + ‘lest I get attached’=some round about way of saying ‘I’m not going to be here for you’  ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

When I am shocked, I laugh. But really, I told him I would be here when he was through. A benign way of saying, “If you want to get rid of me using the ‘I have issues of commitment’…………….it won’t succeed.” He called me later in the night to talk (24 hours after I had tried calling him, ahem!) and we had a very awkward conversation…………… I had been calling to tell him how I missed him and wished he was there with me (at Mr Boyfriend’s room) instead of the guy that was there. Good looking and effeminate, yes, but not the one I love. I felt like crying when the phone was not picked…………….but maybe that’s life.

I told my friend and a mutual friend about my ‘He’s trying to tell me something’ thoughts. My friend maybe the two of us over-analyse things. And he said I have probably read too much into our relationship. Whatever anyway…………………….. I’m just curious about how this whole boyfriend business shall end.