Conversations in Silence

Instead of a trip to the doctor with SSS on February the 18th , we went to…. Goethe Institut in the evening for the opening of ‘Conversations in Silence‘… There were 3 partnerships and a single artist’s work…

From the original program, it had been anticipated that Miriam Syowia Kyambi would be part of the project, which was essentially a Bauhaus University alumni (B)/Kenyan artists (K) one, but that was evidently not the case on our arrival. Why that is, we know not. This project was intended to explore the nature, extent, influence on, types of, and means of commemorating Kenya’s collective memory. This post aims to say a little of my impressions of the exhibition. I went to the opening as well as two more times; with SSS and then E so I hope I present a, shall we say, rounded view to the nature of the exhibition.

Karolina Freino (B) & James Muriuki (K) presented 3 separate pieces; 2 of which are related (at least to me…) In one, a video, Muriuki interviews a lady called Peninna who sells potatoes at Nairobi’s Toi Market (I have always wondered why it’s called that but…not to digress) as she postulates on the role of women in providing support for their children, the reduced role of men in the same and why some jobs are still ‘women’s jobs’. Market women all over Africa are exposed, informed, and opinionated. This one does not disappoint & makes for interesting viewing.

In another of the works of Freino & Muriuki; they placed piles of potatoes, monuments to trade in a manner of speaking, near various monuments around the city of Nairobi. The contrast is striking, making one view both the potatoes and monuments in a new light… The contrast between the Nyayo Monument at Nairobi’s Central Park and the pile was most engaging for me; this is a monument built to commemorate the reign of a man during whose time in office Kenya was brought to its knees and there next to it was an enduring testament to the desire of all Kenyans to improve their lot. Substitute those potatoes for cassavas, cabbages, coconuts and so on and you have the story of a country striving, sometimes against the establishment. SSS was especially enthused by a photo that the pair had taken atop a building with the sun, bright, in the background. I was happy to see her enjoying herself. It was her first time at an opening and at the encouragement of our new friend Gnash, she spoke to Muriuki about the possibility of a print. What delights one gets with friends!

The last of their works is ‘How are you?’, a recording of the chant one often hears directed at white people in the slums of Nairobi. They provide a ring tone at www.howreyou.mobi that they hope will set off conversations and lead us to ask questions regarding the role of the Westerner, aid, the NGO world, dependence. If I had not gone to Mathare with my German friend J (read about it HERE), I would have found it quite hilarious, this piece. Walking in Mathare with J, though, I heard children repeatedly chant those very words in our direction. The fact that at some point we were walking through the slum carrying some wood as we set off to build a fence only reinforced his role in their minds: Do-gooder. Almost 50 years after independence, we have such a long way to go….

Deqa Abshir (K) & Drusica Drazic (B) worked on 2 items: ‘The Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat’ as well as a pillar in Kibera. I looooved the coat. The idea behind it is the memories of Somali refugees in Kenya and it has images from their time in their country of birth on it. Each of the people photographed in the coat give it distinct character. At the opening, Deqa offered the people present an opportunity to get into the coat and be photographed. My excitement at the chance (I had been asking X if the possibility of wearing the coat, right there on a mannequin, existed) led me to clap before her statement was over. Which would have been embarrassing if I had the capacity for shame. SSS & I got photographed so when you go for the exhibition, look out for the shots from the opening… the shameless-looking girl? That’s me πŸ™‚ At least you know I’m a girl, ha ha.

Their other work was a concrete pillar they put up in Kibera (inarguably every Mzungu’s favourite slum in Kenya) as a means of commemoration which they hope will grow into something larger and even more significant. Images from its planning and construction were put up. I generally do not find installations accessible so, in classic fashion, I glossed over the thrust of the pillar. Better people shall yet come after me and appreciate that pillar. I hope.

Sam Hopkins (B) & Kevin Irungu (K) had 2 related pieces and they collaborated with a man named Ashif to actualise them. Their work, called ‘Ochuo’s Funeral’, is related to a funeral of a Kibera resident that caused quite a stir in the slum & its environs. Half of their work is a video of a re-enactment of the funeral and other half is a series of interviews with various people (all men, I noticed) who were, in one way or another, part of the planning & execution of the funeral. If any piece of work spoke to memory & the perceptions of people in this exhibition; it was, for me, this one. Every single one of these men remembered some version of the event that was a bit different from other people’s. And enjoyable, more especially if you understand street Kiswahili. This exhibition was being curated-originally-by both Sam Hopkins & Potash (Matathia Charles Anthony) but Potash pulled out due to ethical issues related to ‘Ochuo’s Funeral’. What they are, I wonder. Granted, I put that down on the comment book on the 28th but I want to ask it gain on this forum…. Potash, fungua roho yako!

Finally, Irene Izquierdo’s work. She made a foray into Hilton Square and met some very intriguing characters…some of whom were on hand to entertain on the day of the opening. There is also a video of the people who sit there speaking of their experiences that is peppered with various performances. I’m going to say this; because it’s my blog. I have never in my 20-plus years of living in Nairobi, seen that much entertainment at Hilton Square. Either all those artists are sitting on their talent waiting to be discovered as we walk past or that was an act for the Mzungu. This is a very un-PC thing to say but my sponsors asked me to be honest. One could feel the Mzungu interference with the accounts of Ochuo’s funeral but it was not as marked as with the Hilton Square work. There is an accompanying book that one would do well to read…if only for some insight.

On the whole, an interesting exhibition worth a go-see. The opening was lots of fun; what with X there, our friend LFGrad taking photos and meeting Gnome as SSS was introduced to the wonderful world of art, and openings at that. As well as so many of The Usual Suspects being as fun as they always are πŸ™‚ X and I have been on a roller-coaster of late; I’m afraid what we have is in a precarious position but going for the opening gave us a chance to be together without the tension that has characterised our interactions of late. Thank you, art world.

As Wednesday from ‘The Addams Family’ just said on TV (we are all watching Boomerang); many thanks and much love. I’ll be back soon πŸ™‚ END(1st Mar 2011)

A few of my favorite things

I got this cover of the original song from ‘Sound of Music’ and I couldn’t resist πŸ™‚

So here’s a list (for when I forget πŸ™‚ )

  1. Music: Well, who doesn’t? There’s always that song that captures your mood, lifts your spirit, expresses what you can’t put into words…ah, music
  2. Silly stuff…: Wouldn’t measure up to randomness if all I did was the serious stuff, now would I? Would I??? *wearing maniacal ‘ANSWER ME!’ look* I thought not!
  3. Punctuality: Am I the only one who doesn’t enjoy waiting? It really gets my goat [I love that expression]
  4. Affirmation: Anyone who’s been tuning in for episodes might have noticed this but there, I said it. I think we all like that someone to (sort of) vindicate us [I used to love that word when I was 16…I wonder why…]
  5. Hugs: I’m a sucker for those…as is one Mo…who I have not heard from for yonks. He’s great with hugs…him & X (most times, sometimes they feel cursory-I *do not* like cursory hugs) & 2BF5 & Jay (his are really awesome, they involve spinning me round and round-usually in malls…fun times)
  6. Communication: I talked about this in my last post. How I’ll stop nagging X about that topic but I’ll state it here for the record: I try to communicate with people but a reticence on your part really won’t earn you any favours. It turns out being in a relationship with the non-communicator makes me tetchy. Enough said. I find that it’s so easy you simply have no reason not to (other than you don’t want to, pure and simple in which case I get a hint!) reply to e-mail, texts, messages…pick the phone (Quite passive, you see) but what I really cherish is the active communicator. The one who sends the e-mail/text/message…the one who calls. One of the many reasons why I love 2BF5…
  7. The world & all in it: I really love this planet. It’s so tiny and yet so large in terms of the diversity you find in it. Aah, I love you Mother Earth & I love you World πŸ™‚
  8. A person who gets along with my friends: As you might have gathered, my friends are pretty all-sorts (Understatement of the Century) so I quite like folks who can get along with most of my friends. I can assure you, ALL is pushing it quite a tad…
  9. Kisses: I love me a good smooch, I do. Those ones that take you away…especially in my dreams where I’ve had lots of those as opposed to real life where I’m saving all my love [cue Whitney Houston pre-drugs singing ‘Saving All My Love’] (and my kisses, too, apparently) for The One [capitalisation is of utmost importance-this is not an issue one can toy with :D]. I think all the Latin men I have watched have raised the bar-I better not be disappointed πŸ™‚ Couldn’t help throwing in this video for entertainment’s sake:
  10. Touch: I speak a language called Touch. What it means is that if you want to communicate how you feel about me, touching me is a good option. Also, I only touch people I like. If I have had physical contact with you, be assured, I like you. Though of course anyone who thinks of a hug as touch had latched on this πŸ™‚
  11. Honesty: No matter how bad the truth is, Just Say It! It’ll be that much worse when I discover it. It really grinds my gears when I practically have to drag information out of someone. Really, if you’d told me we’d have moved that much faster…
  12. Transparency: No, not TI, that body those of us in some parts of Africa associate with damning corruption reports but rather saying it as it is. Obfuscation is so irritating… Yes, I can hear you saying I said honesty above but how else was I going to throw in ‘obfuscation’? πŸ˜€
  13. A good listener: Who doesn’t love a good listener? Also the person who doesn’t tune out (yes, it’s you I’m talking to, you know yourself..) They’re so hard to find…but also so valuable once you do…
  14. Compliments: Just not about my hair…J/K I loooove compliments so I give them quite freely. I know more than one girl who has been left wondering about my orientation but I love compliments so if you see me, you know what to do πŸ™‚
  15. A love of family: My family means a lot to me so institutions, people, who respect family count for a lot to me…Viva la familia!
  16. Food: I love food, really I do. I plan meals in advance, I walk halfway across town for food offers, I explore a new culture through its food. I wouldn’t go as far as calling myself a gourmand like one Mo has, but hey πŸ™‚

Part of the reason I wrote this is because I lost my uncle yesterday and I thought about how loss occurs so easily and how forgetting is something that we are all susceptible to. My next post will be listless [no, not in the ‘she looked listless’ sense :D] but this is for memories’ sake.

Also, this blog sometimes veers into ‘Love Jude‘ territory-that being the title of a book where the blogger/diarist is obsessed with her boyfriend Oren & every post is about him. I saw that in myself when I re-read it the other day. Hilarious though it is, I spend a lot of time talking about X and maybe, as a book called ‘Sex & Sensibility’ by some Christian bloke called Steve Ayers suggests, my other relationships suffer as a result.

Situation shall be rectified.

πŸ™‚

To round it all off, here’s Makmende, the Kenyan phenomenon spun by an experimental Kenyan group (too funny, *they* describe themselves as such), JustΒ  A Band, that has supposedly gone viral. Enjoy & I’ll catch you later πŸ™‚

Functional Dysfunction

(Or ‘How to stay chaste in an oversexed world’)

So I’ve realised I’m a nag. Really, I am. I have the ability to talk about, and pursue, one topic past the point where anyone is interested. I’m turning into my mother…not a source of mirth but hey, it’s better than turning into say, a troll (amongst other things) Scratch that, my mum’s pretty awesome so…..but I digress.

Now, my favourite nagopic (nag meets topic to create) is communication. I can talk about it forever with Mr Man, aka X. The poor guy has heard so many versions of the same thing till he probably recites what I say (my repertoire of lines is that limited) but I found a new one over the weekend. It’s not going to be good for him…especially considering what I’m going on about… [Edit 24.3.10 I spoke to X yesterday and promised him I’d stop with the nagging…a long-term birthday gift, if you will, being as it was his big day]

Now, to stay chaste in an oversexed world, I recommend:

#1 Staying away from your preferred gender (I’m being inclusive here): Em, once you start, you can’t stop… Not that I would know but humour me..

#2 Running (yes, I know I said running) away from erotic dancers. Here I can speak with authority… On Saturday I had the pleasure of spending time with a friend I’ll call 2BF5 (ask not..OK, ask later) who is one raunchy dancer. But, as I have a little, umm, shall we say, ‘situation’, the dancing was terribly unsettling. A girl has urges….don’t stoke them!! I should have run, but he’s so much fun (woop! woop! we had us a rhyme there) so I stayed through the torture, the pain, the agony, and the shaking pelvis (grinding is more like it but let’s not even go there) Torture!!!

#3 Not talking about ‘It’ in any form. Really, it works. As long as you don’t discuss how your boyfriend is the last person that would be your baby’s father were you to fall pregnant (this is not to say I have had this conversation with anyone….) you’re almost home dry. It’s as easy as it sounds, except for the exclusion. The exclusion only succeeds at making the said boyfriend sound umm, incapable πŸ˜‰

#4 Read the Bible or similar religious book (but let’s speak of the Bible for the purpose of this post):Β  Really!! Think of all the punishment that awaits you, ignore any offers of forgiveness from God and keep your legs clamped. It may take some effort (reading the Bible in my case) and you might end up like Shoshannah (not real name, to protect the privacy of the (now) long dead) but TOUGH! Man up! Or the female equivalent of manning up…

It’s been long, my next post will be longer…

I hope…but take my advice πŸ˜€

Nishike pole pole mimi ni bibi ya wenyewe

Which loosely translates to: Hold me slowly, I am the wife of others

I turned 21 on Saturday, 30th January.

I had an interesting day….Or rather, an interesting 3 days πŸ™‚

January 29th: I begged a phone off my friend E, saw a Facebook post by my friend that’s usually referred to as SSS (Sole Soul Sister) and called her. Yes, I would have wine and chocolate with her (yes, my non-drinking self would have wine and chocolate, stop staring πŸ™‚ ) and yes, she could sleep in my room as part of that ritual called ‘The Sleepover’. Signpost in my head: This Way To Fun Times. I met her and her friend Charles, an amiable guy, after her boyfriend of 2 years (time is important, just keep reading) left her in my care. We went to the food court at the mall we were at, I told them a funny X-related story, and we bought wine after unsuccessfully trying to buy soda. Translation: We left the soda in the trolley for so long, the guys at the supermarket (wisely) decided we didn’t want it πŸ˜€ We met Jay & Co, went back to the supermarket….and the 2 of us ended up in my room πŸ˜‰ he he he

It was interesting… Around her I am not reticent…at all. I didn’t need the tongue-loosening powers of wine to get me talking. About how down I had been in the 1.5 years we had been apart. About X. I’ve known her for the last 7 years and in a sense she is me…I can trust her. That, for me, counts for a lot. And she let me speak about how the absence of [intense] physical displays of affection in my relationship with X had got me confused, should we say bewildered. That >6 months into it, all we had done is hold hands…And here was a person saying that which I had wanted so badly to hear: Let it be…don’t rush it and look back and think to yourself: This, not that, is the right moment [though I momentarily forgot her advice the next day]. Everyone around me, minus my twin, has created the impression that the absence of a make-out session up to this point signals the presence of a malfunction in my sentiments for this boy, a quirk on his part….[not that my virginity pledge doesn’t complicate issues]… I was happy to know she has been happy. Because as the person I could always trust to pull me out of the doldrums, I wanted; need, actually; her happy. And she is. I’m not playing catch-up again πŸ™‚

January 30th: I woke up on the morning of the birthday to the presence of SSS, A gift I have not received since she transferred schools when she was 16 & I 15. It was a better gift than any I could have asked for. Having X call me to meet him close to my hall of residence [“Meet me Halfway”]

and meeting him… E and SSS had met the day before [during the time at the mall] so when E came, they had time to bond after SSS had had time to speak to X. X & I were left in my room, I snoozed, E & SSS waited for almost an hour and IT happened.

IT: My roommate’s best friend walking in on me sleeping with X lying next to me. We looked so chaste; almost like 6 year old cousins having their Sunday nap on the same bed. My 4 year old cousin & I have had scenes like that, my 9 year old brother…no biggie. I had my eyes closed [not least because I was asleep], he didn’t…no cause for her reaction. Effusive apologies, almost like she had found us doing SOMETHING [your mind is now allowed to wander…] and the humour of the situation not being lost πŸ™‚Β  SSS & E called me post-bonding and I went off to the city (all of 10 minutes away) to get drinks for my party-let as well as meet Marie & our mutual friend I.

Marie, X, I & I all headed to the Nairobi National Museum [a great place to have any sort of event…] where J, her boyfriend K [no jokes], her friend S, and our friend B were waiting for us…Getting high on soda is a plan; as X and my previous run-ins with Coca Cola products have shown.Β  We drank litres of the stuff, played random games, got to know each other, talked, made fun of each other & made up for lost (friendship) time. I was told, by J, how after a series of arguments she had urged K to ‘court her’ a romantic notion that included chasing her like the past months hadn’t happened. X & I clocked 7 months on my birthday and J was tired 2 months into her relationship & SSS had logged 2 years in one relationship. Time is so fleeting and yet we attach so much to it…

We all walked (I joke not, past 1800) to the city centre-ish with Marie & I walking in front of us. J asked me for more than a year if X and I were going out and the answer never changed: No. But our body language, mirrored so clearly in my friends’, said it all. We liked each other….a lot πŸ˜‰ J had asked me what the deal was but being as I had asked the girl half and it had said pretty much nothing,Β  I wasn’t pushing it. Oh, but after we had walked into the city & were about to order dinner, they decided to leave. There’s never been a moment, surrounded by friends, as awkward as J asking them if they were dating…and them saying yes….*cue jaw drop*

How now? when I had tried subtly? But being as the guys (X & I) had hit it off at an earlier meeting, I got to pry [If J can, why can’t I…J/K] and asked the question that had such heat in myΒ  brainΒ  I could almost feel its searing effect: When did this happen? Or was I always blind (Yes)? X & I walked them to the corner, dinner was had & we went to a club. This after Jay, happily gay, had come over and had conversation & strangeness with J & K (who X & I have beaten at the awesomeness that is ‘vogueing’, thank you very much) being all over each other. Jay was hard-pressed to understand how our straight selves were going to go to a club that attracts the gay crowd sans him… But go we did.

Post K having a talk with me about ‘taking care of J’ before he left, we went to the club. On our way there it was revealed that one of X’s friends [a member of AIESEC, the organisation that he is-I did not stutter] tended bar there. Before I forget, X became President of his AIESEC chapter (coincidentally, the code for the organisation within the organisation is the letter X) and I almost died-of pride. Seriously…Which some people would say is a good thing πŸ™‚ She was so happy to meet me, his friend, saying that it felt good to finally meet me post-X’s conversations about me. And she was pleasantly surprised to realised he has friends outside AIESEC [remember, earlier, I did not stutter?] and we had an interesting time that included me getting a call from my mum & jokily telling her I was out with X getting drunk (“take care of yourself”) [that was the night before :D]. This didn’t last long as the crowd sought by J & B was elsewhere & so J’s friend K, her boyfriend J & the rest of us left.

X left us at the entrance of the 2nd club [we would later sing ‘Another one bites the dust” when Kate’s J left]Β  and we went and had unbelievable fun. Which included guys hitting on K after her boyfriend left & not single B. Which was an improvement on the joke that was the last time we had gone out together when, with my relationship with X now declared to J, she had repeatedly fended off the men that tried hitting on me by insisting that I had a boyfriend [though stated as, “Yeye ana bwana”-she has a husband :D]. We left that club because of J’s insistence.

The one we went to had an age limit that the lady at the door imagined up at the sight of us [23 & over-who ever heard of that?] and we ended up at the club we had gone to for B’s 22nd on the night of the 8th/9th. We-J & I- (you have to believe this) fell asleep & in the end J went to her hostel (my & B’s former residence) & I put B up for the night. Thankfully, my roommate hadn’t been in on those 2 days, sparing all the parties involved the awkwardness of a shared bed…

Sunday January 31st: I woke up to lock the door after B left, lay on my bed and showered & ate in time to look calm when X came to watch Woody Allen’s ‘Vicky Cristina Barcelona’, the first of his films we are (were?-English is confusing…) to watch together. We were originally meant to watch ‘Sherlock Holmes’ at the theatre but a conglomeration of factors meant that we started on our list… The twin & X had an awkward moment when I left him to get VCB & she went to my room to pick her book without my informing her of his presence. But it was OK in the end…with X remarking on the film’s ‘European’ qualities…

This past weekend rocked…the CAT I had today, that I aced, couldn’t cast a shadow on it… The small moments (my uncle-who calls me his ‘niece & friend’-calling me, my friend & I planning a post-birthday lunch in lieu of her presence) the ones that made the day what it was, the time spent with X (so hard to get since I became a First Lady πŸ˜‰ )….I had a great time…

And about X & I not being physical…I couldn’t have said it better than SSS did… I want something to happen,Β  I’d like for something to happen…but I have the sense to know that rushing matters won’t make for a great ride and so while I wait [need I say ‘hopefully’?], I shall enjoy all the beauty of my life & the joy of my love πŸ™‚

PS Mo, I wish you’d been around…it would have been like the Ribena ad with the blackcurrant that can no longer contain itself…its goodness just overwhelms it… We miss you…

The year that was…

I don’t like retrospective posts…..and yet here I am….

This is more thanksgiving than anything else………Thank you God/Gaia/Mother Nature for:

(Disclaimer: Not in order of importance)

J: That life saver. She made 2009 so much more worth it…helping me get a hostel, taking me to hospital, resurrecting my love of karaoke πŸ™‚ Being a friend’s friend xx

Mo: He is such a clown!!! A great friend to have, a walking social network… He is very much the big brother I’d have crafted for myself………and so much more. And to Mo: You’re Kenyan, you can stop now πŸ™‚ Thank you so much for being awesome…..awesomeness becomes you…

B: Her and J, salala!! There should be a fine for being great friends…..those two should pay through the nose!! Thank you, you two, for being tops!

My twin: Eh, those cocoas and talks and walks &…..randomness, fun times. She gave me the courage to seek religion…and accepted me even when I was lost in so many senses….My study buddy, my confidante, I love her πŸ™‚

My ma: She and I have been through a ton of things this year; the heartbreak, the triumphs, the dreams… She helps me remember my greatness….and to reach for the stars…..I am one of them, after all

Marie: He he, I’m European too, if she insists….. That girl is a chunk of fun. Fullstop. And that all-nighter we pulled on the 1st of 2010? Well worth it πŸ™‚

My aunt L: She has been such a revelation for me this year. Where would I be without the hot meals, showers, warm bed? Let me not think about it *shudders*

My dad: We have our moments of non-bliss but 2009 was a year of discovery. I have learnt to forgive myself because I know him…

My dad’s friend H: For giving meΒ  a place to bum, have a cocoa, enjoy myself. Questioning me when I smoked…… I am grateful

My friend E: I felt so cheap, dirty, when I had a moment of stupidity with a guy I don’t like……but she pulled me out of the morass I had started making of my life. Every girl needs a friend like her; I am blessed

My twin’s friend M: If it hadn’t been for her, I’d have struggled moving through the maze that is living in school accommodation…..Β  God bless her πŸ™‚

W: Shopping buddy, fun times mate, person that embraces all of me. He was there for the ups and downs and the randomness in between….. 2010 will be fun with him around..

Mama M: She has become like a mother to me….finally I can say I have lots of family to count on

T: That boy is wise beyond his years…. I’m proud to be his sister

My friend C: Finding her after almost 3 years was an epiphany…. It’s good to find her grown, changed and yet still my friend πŸ™‚

N, my best friend: She’s been thousands of kilometres away and I’ve been lacklustre in my communication but I look forward to a good year….

P: Lawd, what was that??!!! I’m grateful that my moment of idiocy was with a person with discretion…it’s so easy, when you do something silly, to disregard the goodness in the other person. He is a good guy, and I hope he’s happy with someone.

Jay S: I found a freshman to befriend πŸ˜‰ inΒ  my second year of school… I’m grateful for all those times when he listened to me, hugged me, bugged me, dined with me……

Josh: My library buddy, my friend…..the one who made sure I always got home safe………

Inno: I know where to go if I need a place to crash…..thanks to her

Z: Without her, I’d never have experienced Lamu. I’m going to Russia v v soon to get her!!!!

L: She and I have come from far….and she always aids me to believe in myself that much more…

My roommate V: She’s quite something…

And finally…..

X: I will that this bit is short….. He has taught me something that I never thought I would learn: Grace. To be undeserving and yet receive. I have felt confused, amazed, angry…the whole gamut of emotions really….because of this one person.EvenΒ  though I’ve practically vowed not to tell him I love him (The Rules πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜€ ), I do. I love the way he makes conversation from little things, his taste in music, his forthrightness, his intelligence, his courage……his ability to make me happy….those letters, the .1 child….all the things the future has in store for us. He is the Dr Burke to my Cristina Yang, accepting my idiosyncrasies and myΒ  inability to appreciate the religious side of things…. I just hope no one’s ditching anyone at any altar any time soon………

I’m grateful for all these people and all those who were a blessing along the way……2010, bring it on!

. Parties & such

So, em, I’m back [a bit obviously, ahem]

Light or heavy first?

I have become an insomniac…so here I am blogging at 2358 instead of being in bed [why do I insist on 24 hour time? Force of habit, I guess] and that has led me to all sorts of places. (Un)fortunately, not in the literal sense. Ag. I miss W 😦 That was random, that thing I just said…It’ll stay…

Today [that is to say, the day that just ended] was a wonderful day. I got one-on-one time with my great friend C & more importantly, Tusker Project Fame 3 came to an end. Of course TPF3 was much more important than seeing C; as demonstrated by the rest of this post…

I went clubbing in Kisumu [woop woop] with C & my high school classmate J. Eh, Magaribina concurs with me; Kisumu is a trip. In a literal & figurative sense for me…being as the townhouse (as if, but not quite) is in Maseno [wonderful university town], a 30 minute drive from Kisumu. Now when I say 30 minutes, I am not being faithful to the facts. Such as matatus (public transport minibuses) that cannot possibly move if they are not carrying excess passengers…it’s against Matatu Code to follow rules. Yes, visit Kenya ujionee [literally, ‘see for yourself’ as opposed to your friend seeing for you<–dogs excepted :)] the wonders that are the commuter transport system.

>>>>Stay focused, The Shaboozle!!!<<<<

Where was I? Yes, Kisumu clubbing. First, we had to eat…chicken at a particular eatery [if you saw a girl in a heavy sweater at Tammiez last Saturday; guilty] was supposed to beat that at any other. Mother dearest was most definitely not intrigued by turn of events….had expected to cook for C & J (OK, mostly C…J doesn’t jingle her bell*) but hey, gulls girls sometimes fly away from their mums in such ways πŸ™‚ To get there we had to get on a tuk tuk [should really get phone with camera, really] from a random bus stop [It was right there close to the middle of nowhere]. Several minutes later; chicken (well worth the wait), ugali & kachumbari (savoury, I think it would be called?) is served. This after C & I had gone to the bar to get drinks-this girl is always dehydrated *before I forget; T currently calls a balloon filled with water a ‘hydra’<–love that boy* & I was told I could do a random dance called ‘the jungle’ really awesomely. AwEsOmE πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Then *The Rave* Ai, Caramba. Tuk tuk, again. I walk to the rave in Nairobi being a proud citizen of a walking working country & all πŸ™‚ so it was strange having to board a means of conveyance to the rave. From, yeah, because some people are smashed and really need to be carried by, you know, a car. Some place called Grillz. Entrance charge 100KES (about US$1.30) is waaay out of the league of most university students [read: C, J & The Shaboozle], club-hopping wise. Which means once the decision is made -or made for you as in my case being as it was my first time in Kisumu post-2100- you stick to it. Oi, thanks Kisumu for allowing us to savour options…Full of aggressive men [NO means, well, no], gay men-these ones I am at peace with :), & the man who didn’t contemplate that I could possibly not want to go home with him after dancing with him, accepting a drink & having a conversation.

I found a dam near the townhouse. Bliss. I’m really earthy in the installation in nature sort of way, he he. Was led there by T (who thinks himself quite the tour guide) today…Bliss (oops! said that already) It’s pretty in the way abandoned things are…and allowed me the peace to speak to T about stuff (probably overload him…world’s best 9 year old; I β™₯ him :)..). My mum had practically kicked us out of the house (and we were headed out, would you believe!) and I had a chance to talk about a conversation I had with X yesterday. About the weirdness surrounding the long distance, the distance in and of itself… He said it had been latent; I had refused to speak about it even with my cousin F, who’s half of a long distance relationship (LDR) herself. I can’t wait for school to resume, ag. To see X again…<–Enough!!!

I’m going to throw my daughter(s) period party/ies of the sort in Vagina Monologues (the book) when they have their first. My mum was shocked albeit prepared when I had mine-very distinct memory of self calming down said mum….we’ve come from v v far, she & I. One’s first period should be celebrated, rejoiced, enjoyed, remembered with joy….and I’ll make sure she/they has/ve that. I just wanted that out. Ah, now it’s out.

Random something or other: X is a great listener. The sort that retransmits your information & makes you question yourself as you talk…my favourite sort of listener. Putting that down on my ‘What I love about X’ list. I felt a bit stranged out [is that a word? If no, it is now….I’ve gotten tired of ‘weirded out’] by the whole Kisumu debacle. I felt like I had, what do I say?, cheated on X. I felt sorta like this video:

Strange that I should have Blue October here considering X’s latest post is related to them. Eish, great minds πŸ˜€ But I think, not going home with said guy is more important than whatever signals I may have been giving him in order to end up being asked to be one half of a one night stand. I’ll say it here: The long distance is not the best thing to happen to our relationship. Young and fragile & all. But I’m growing up along with it and I like what I am becoming πŸ™‚

Talk to you soon πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

0159 STOP πŸ˜€

Fallin’

Ref: Alicia Keys

I keep falling in and out of love with X… and the person I am round him.

I’m not calling him again… he owes me 30+ minutes of talk time. Pay up, Mr Man. And he brings out my inner whiner… I don’t like that girl… She whines… ha ha ha

X is soo representative of the middle class, it gnaws at me. I’ve always liked ‘the wrong guy’. Non-Nairobian, child of divorced parents, the one with this issue or that one. And now X. It’s bad enough I have to make more effort than he does but now to see him for what he is is just… upsetting.

I keep falling in and out of love. I fall in love with his passion for his organisation, then fall out of love with the apathy displayed towards me. I fall in love with his great taste in music, and out with that part of him that thinks the world works in a certain way….

The title says it all…

PS this entry was published almost 2 weeks after first draft ie X called for like an hour on Friday the 11th

Not good enough