The European Film Festival was held in May of this year in Nairobi. And I watched several of the films (that is most definitely the understatement of the year being as the ticket guy (TG) learnt my name…and J’s….my housemate’s….)….some with X… The films with X were really a revelation… I’d talked about my desire to be touched by someone I like…leading to him holding my hand during the films… Where I’d told TG that he (X) had told me he’d meet me for the first film (an interesting documentary about water needs in 3 countries…including Kenya) an now that he was nowhere to be seen *cue ‘he has soo stood me up’ look* and TG had said that if the guy said he’d come he would….. Well, he did. TG wore a vindicated look, became my friend… and I learnt another lesson in trust (though, judging by my constant…oh, well, X likes me….statements, I still have many more to learn…..life…) Leading to himself, myself, J and her boyfriend then, P….all heading to a mall with many random occurences thrown in… ie long phoneversation with my brother (just my brother, not either of the parents), J calling me twice from less than 50m off to talk about how cute X and I looked (you don’t say, J) and discovering J on a magazine cover (thanks, P….my friend J’s a star…..and I mean it….) and X and I behaving like teenagers in love (trust me, between single-sex high school and my sheltered life pre-university, I never did get to act like one…)…
Oh, then there was a random dance/trance party that X and I were supposed to attend….which J, P and I did attend while X went off to a conference (well, more power to him) organised by an organisation he’s part of (well, that’s another understatement……..he is the organisation)… X and I had a debacle the other day about that organisation…with me saying how I felt he put it before me, and him saying that was not true (oh well, what’s a girl supposed to think when she rarely sees you but you’re constantly at that group’s meetings? Come on…) Though on the flip side, I joined Rotaract to counteract (I love how that came out…) the ‘I miss my baby’ feeling I used to get. Fun times… So, thanks X…sometimes it seems all I do is complain about the guy….but he’s pretty awesome (currently his favourite word…) I still miss my baby, though… But anyway, the revelation came afterwards when X revealed he wasn’t so keen on PDAs. I’m curious, now that he’s made himself boyfriend… is my hand going to be held again? Hey, I should ask him……but you know me, I shan’t… I’ll just drop hints that shall not be picked leaving me frustrated… Oh, well….if you pass this way X, I’d like to be touched. And that includes holding me on the streets (which only happened on the day I was wearing the small dress…..it felt good in the moment but I felt like a sex object after…..mostly because it was post-“I’m anti PDAs”……so why was he touching me? Because every other male is looking at me like I was some sort of sex goddess? *chuckle*)
Anyway, after the anti-PDA chatversation, X decides to spring some initiative. Asks me what I’m up to on the 1st of June (a public holiday in Kenya) and I say nothing (true…I’m always clueless during holidays….worse on the 1st this year because the family had moved so no randomness…) then he says; hey, we could go watch a movie. Now X and I have a long movie history. We first watched a movie together to get over the fact that I’d said I liked him and he was in a relationship so that was that…then we watched another in the week that he broke up with that girl leading to me being viewed as the rebound girl (oh, no, you did not!) by his friends but anyway, I’m losing focus.
There I am, wating for him at the mall. He shows up and leans in for a hug….I am perturbed by this (I’m an all or nothing girl) and look sufficiently strange moving out of the hug as I stand. Please don’t tell me no PDA then touch me in any way…Please… We get to the movie theatre lobby and find out that we’re late for what’s showing and we’re not interested anyway leading to us going to another mall in the same district (area in which I used to live…) that was showing Star Trek XI. I really did not feel the fascination that Trekkers feel (Star Wars any day….), even ended up sleeping (ha, no hand to hold….lol). Then we went down to a store to buy me phone airtime, didn’t get what I wanted…went to another store……queued for hour and ended up standing at the bus stop waiting for a bus…..which didn’t seem to be in a rush to appear. Leading to us walking to another bus stop while I told him about how my constant fault-finding was because I didn’t want to get less than 100% in my relationships…and asking him about the whole bisexuality business (no, he’s not bisexual…) while he asked me to stop referring to W as my boyfriend (an old joke stemming from the fact that W and I spend a lot of time together…) Hey, maybe that was his declaration of love…he he he…
So anyway, we get to the bus stop and spend ages talking…. and then, when we had decided we were leaving we see…..
Who arrests us for being ‘a public nuisance’ despite our protests. X gets handcuffed to some random guy and I’m asked to walk along. Mostly because I’m female. As we crossed the road on our way to the police post, I had a fleeting moment where I thought about running away… then it hit me that an arrest is easier to explain than a gunshot wound. So I decided; no GSW, I’ll just be a lamb… We had been told, at the time we were arrested, that we were a public nuisance because we were groping at the bus stop which was shocking then but is funny in retrospect because
1) we were not. 2) X had been pretty vocal about the no-touch policy 3) this girl has some class…..bus stop??!!
Anyway, the friendlier cop (aka the AO-arresting officer) decides to quiz me (after deciding that X is the worse of our two evil selves) about my name (pretty special) and what I do at school. X is the worse one because of the school he goes to….he he he. Somewhere in there he asks X to call home so we can fix the situation (by this time, they’d decided we were being held for prostitution and solicitation (P&S)…..the horror…). I notice how no one tells me to do the same. Anyway, after the call (where X’s mum says she’s coming to the rescue…) I have an interesting talk with the AO about naming systems in Africa…
We get to the post, I’m given a seat (ah, ’tis so nice to be a girl…), X is made to sit on the floor with random guy as he fields more calls. On the way there I’d been going through my ICE (In Case of Emergency) list in my head:
1) the parents-out because they were so far 2)my cop uncle-out because he’d tell my mum
Ther are usually other people on my ICE list but those were the only ones that came to mind then. Anyway, I had decided that I was just going to move with the flow. In between X handing the phone to me so the AO could speak to his people, me being smart with a lady cop (LC) and X being placed in a cell while I was put in a random room (X later told me it was the records office *chuckle*)…..LC insisting that AO should search me…..(weird female person!!!); X’s people arrived. His mum’s best friend’s husband (phew! let’s call him BFH) came to speak to me and to reassure me that things would be fine while I gave up the magazine I had found in my little room (nice Adventist one…). AO had made such a big deal out of the whole event so there was some talking (he’d only hang around because 1) X’s people were coming and 2) X had pretty much made it obvious he wouldn’t leave us there-aww, he’s so *hot* when he’s all assertive…. 😉 🙂 ….) and then we were free to go…
I ended up meeting X’s mum (XM), her best friend (BF), X’s brother (XB), and the said BFH, who I’d already spoken to. We were told to calm down, it would all be fine and I had a weird break in conversation when I revealed that there was ‘no mum’ at home….BF & XM were shocked till I explained that I lived away from home…. After helping me calm down (I was shaking like a leaf….loove that expression…), XM drove me to my residence as she 1) spoke about the need to let people know where you are (apparently X had told XB a totally random story as he left the house…) 2)asked me about myself, my family 3) told me how, despite my constant statements that I’d have preferred a better meeting, glad she was to meet me (She and I love Oliver! the musical so it was a nice thing X told me…bonding…) [edit 12 October 2009; here’s her favourite song…according to X, anyway]
4) played Beyonce and Jason Mraz (‘I’m Yours’ will always make me think of that arrest….) [edit 12 october 2009; see the man perform…love the song 🙂 ]
5) said we all needed to meet and talk….they’d all been there before (not a police post, I bet ya <BFH, I know for a fact, had never been in one before>…..maybe in love…)-story for another post… 6) took my phone number and 7) got me to my residence safely.
I was shaken by my arrest. I spoke about it to my friend E the next day (whose daughter’s godmother I am) and then with my friends M and B. I especially told M how the P&S charge had hurt me…..as I cried… B had no clue what to do with me, I am always so bubbly. My virginity pledge, decency….I felt so trashed by the things AO had said. I told her about these feelings after we left a club and I was super-depressed after sending X a message. I read the other day that the things I displayed (shaking, crying..) were classic post-stress symptoms. B had a long talk with me as he walked me to my residence; if being with X made me so sad, he said, then I should walk away from him. I told him I would think about it, felt glad about the hug I got and went on to message X to say I was sorry about being part of the reason he got into trouble and ignore the last (sunny) message. He said ‘Hey, you don’t have to be all sunny for me’….and that I was worth so much more than any trouble I could possibly cause. I love him 🙂 🙂
I ended up telling my mother (who I’d originally said I’d tell post-uni) as we had a laugh about the P&S charge (tsk! We both thought, the poor child’s a virgin! he he he) and my dad (via his friend who’s #2 on my ICE list) who was unmoved by it all. His friend, though, was transfixed; asking about X and saying that he could see I’d never liked a guy like that before (well, am I so obvious?). As well as asking for a follow-up talk about the issue (I told X, in my letter, that he should meet my dad’s friend….. 🙂 🙂 ..) Slightly better than meeting my dad who ignores any talk of X as boyfriend (X as Linux afficionado, yes. As boyfriend, no)…. I had moments of shame about it (like telling my twin not to speak about it to a guy we both know & like) as well as paranoia round cops (such as the last time I saw X, in my short dress) leading to a strange feeling as I walked/drove past police stations and refusing to be close to X when E and I were dropping him at a bus stop (short dress day) because I had seen a cop walk past…. Also, I felt concerned by X’s claim on Facebook of being arrested for ‘holding a girl’s hand’ because 1) that wasn’t how it happened, 2) I’d had physical contact with him say once before that episode and 3) he’d been in his anti-touch phase then. My obtuse self told him this in such a round-about way I bet he didn’t realise that I’d have preferred he not talk about it than he misrepresent facts. That’s something I want to get the courage to tell him…..to be honest to the world about what we have (it’s not enough to tell me we are in a relationship and stay ‘complicated’ on Facebook……rich coming from me <single> but still…) or be all private…
Longest post ever but there, that’s the story of how our random foray into the world of movie theatres led to a story for my children. And now my darling X has lost all incentive to watch movies because he has no company (read me)……..I feel honoured, being a motivating factor & all 😀 (told him, too) and so, if he comes this way, I want him to see this:
I miss you terribly, X. Hugs and kisses.. 🙂