Weight

-lessness

The thing I’m after.

I feel ridiculously exhausted and it makes no sense. I set myself The One Thing and then I don’t have it on me to do the second and third thing.

[Truth: I am in a space that resembles denial about what depression looks like. I am still talking about these things in well-worn ways: “I am tired” is just one.]

I am after weightlessness but today, when I had been waiting for Roo and he rode past me because he thought I would be elsewhere, I cried when he told me this fact. Hot, juicy, senseless tears. Yet my mind was blank as I cried, I was unable to say just what had set off the tears.

Going back to the psychiatrist next week.

Fun.

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