While I was away

I had X say he wants to transition from being my not-boyfriend to being my boyfriend. Now when I no longer tell him I miss him…or love him.

I left Nairobi on June the 20th and went to visit my friend in Kericho. Exciting time, that. Hanging out with her when the last time I saw her was high school. Catching up with her was fun. She’s terribly in love with a boy who goes to her school that lives in  Nairobi. And misses him. More than can be said for yours truly and X.

Before I left the city, I wanted to speak to X. Having been arrested with him on the 1st (of June) and seeing him on the Friday after that. Dressed in a short dress, stockings and boots. X said male people were looking at me with hypersexualized images in their minds. Just tired of being asked if I’m a dyke because I look pretty androgynuous on a day to day basis, I later revealed. The arrest, I shall dedicate an entry to……….

But on that day, after telling me he was close to where I was, I ended up at Alliance Francaise (the French Cultural Centre) and never saw him. I was angry, even though I hadn’t said expressly I wanted to see him. I went to Steers (a fast food restaurant)………sat there and took him off my Facebook friend list. Because my friend (who had cast doubts about X’s orientation seeing as X is good friends with my gay friend W)  had said that those in a relationship need not know everything…..and because I was angry, hurt…..out of love…

I had got him a book the weekend before…on a whim. Wanted to give him before I left. Ended up calling my friend to get his address off facebook for me to mail it to him. And I got a letter from him yesterday. To say he likes me……..

I can’t go on………

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