Break up to make up?

On Sunday, I was chatting with an old flame (more than an old flame….more like a former significant other…)

Our conversation went off on a tangent when I asked him about his love life (our worlds don’t intersect a lot………….) and he took the story to how we should give our (failed) relationship a chance…….ha!!

I said nothing; just let him speak. He spoke of his desire to have me as a confidant (umm, I should have said, that is not my idea of a smart move; the ex as best friend……..) and that we should give our relationship another chance.

Odd that he should say this when I had just told him how I was up uploading photos of one of my very good friends on the net. Because this good friend had questioned me about how he had been ex’d.

I did not want to say No (I was definitely not going to say Yes………so I was stalling.) so I told him how there were very many unresolved issues……we had not broken up out of the blues.

He was shocked to hear why I had stopped viewing him as boyfriend (make that friend) material: His revelation to me, after I had shared so much of myself with him, that he would not vote for Raila Odinga (well, that’s a first………a person who loses interest in their boyfriend because they have divergent political views…….) His reason? He is uncircumcised. Then, as now, I did not speak out and say, “What? Are you serious? How petty, shallow, ethnocentric……….can you possibly be?” I may have asked him if he was serious, but not the rest.

Soon after that incident, elections were held, violence broke out, I went abroad, and came back to a boyfriend who was now blowing cold. Why hadn’t I been picking the phone, called? Maybe it was not meant to be……….. maybe this was the end. Amazing how he wasn’t shocked at my lack of a fight. Maybe he was shocked and didn’t say it………

We got back together after that (my instigation) but, realising that the reason for which I had deemed him inappropriate had not changed, I called it quits. Here is the funny part……….maybe not so funny. 😦 He Has Not Changed! (Why am I shocked?)His views are still the same, in his mind I have no reason to be concerned, upset by these views he holds……………Amazing (in the ‘I couldn’t be bothered to spend my time with you’ way)…that he thinks we have a chance……… maybe no wonder our paths never cross………

Relationships can have tranformative power…..but this is too much to ask.

That and the fact that I am looking for a man whose paths cross with mine…..because then, maybe, we can walk together.


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